NO MEN.

I have a roommate that lives downstairs. We are very close and I care very much about her, but I have to say, she can be a real pain to have around sometimes. So you can imagine my consternation when she insisted she accompany me to Europe.

“Listen,” I told her. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, or anything, but you will have absolutely no fun whatsoever in Europe. I’ll be constantly on the move, you won’t make any friends, and then there’s that thing where you get cranky for four or five days… I really don’t think you can handle it.”

This isn’t me being mean. She is, like, super high maintenance. Whenever she goes out, she has to be perfectly groomed to a ridiculous degree, and she actually needs pills to keep her from raging out something fierce every month.

But she stuck to her guns. She pointed out that I didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter, and that I would just have to accept that she was coming along no matter what I had to say about it. In the end, I basically had to give in.

Ever since then, she’s been bombarding me with questions about Europe. Should she bring a swimsuit? Should she bother with a razor or should she just do a quick wax beforehand? What if something bad happens to us, who will take care of her?

She’s kind of self-involved.

Yesterday, she asked about European men, and I kind of lost it.

NO. NO MEN.

Here’s the thing. I love this girl. She’s been in my life as long as I can remember. But when this girl meets a boy, she can be a total idiot. As the responsible one, it then falls to me to reason her out of whatever mess she’s created. I do not want that to happen in Europe.

We’re still fighting about it. I honestly don’t know who’s gonna win.